Calvin at Camp: The Calvin King One and a Half
by Blue Paratroopa
Summary: A sequel to my Lion King parody, this one of The Lion King One and a Half, starring Ed and Eddy, once again with songs! And after some requests, nonscript format! Some reviews would be appreciated!
1. King Kevin

After a suggestion from a reviewer, I have dropped the script formatt...the stories indeed do look better. Once again, I don't own anything in this story!

* * *

The sun rose on the camp building. Linus was walking through the halls, singing "A Weak Parody." However, Eddy's narrating voice drowned the song out. "Yeah, yeah, yeah. We all know Linus with his blanket singing about making fun of stuff. We all know about Calvin and his tiger running around with their stupid newspaper hats. But you know what 'The Calvin King' never showed enough of? Me! I'm gonna tell you the full story, and all the stuff that got left out!"

The scene suddenly changed to the Eds in the main room, working on building a scam. Eddy's voice continued: "It was the day Kevin became king. Me, Ed, and Double D were making another scam. I think it was gonna be a fast food place or something. And we were nervous, 'cause we were almost certain that the Kankers were hiding somewhere..." The Eds continued to build as a song started.

(sung to the tune of "Digga Tunnah")

Eds: **_"Make a scamma_**

_**Make, make a scamma**_

_**When you fail, you make another scamma**_

_**Make a scamma**_

_**Make, make a scamma**_

_**Quick, before the Kankers come!**_

(SCAM!)

_**Make a scamma**_

_**Make, make a scamma**_

_**What was that!**_

**_Quick, before the Kankers come!_"**

(SCAM!)  
Edd : **_"Making scams, we do it everyday_**

_**Trying to get other kids to pay**_

**_They never work, but the kids still come..._"**

Ed: **_"And people thing I can be dumb!_"**  
Eddy: **_"Someday, I'll become a super star_**

_**But for now, I collect quarters in a jar!**_

_**And when your scam ends up falling apart**_

**_You do it again! Scamming's an art!"_**  
(SCAM!)

Eds: **_"Make a scamma_**

_**Make, make a scamma**_

_**When you fail, you make **_

_**another scamma**_

_**Make a scamma**_

_**Make, make a scamma**_

_**Quick, before the Kankers come!"**_

"Soon McEddy's will be finished!" said Edd. "And I've already made a costume design for Mayor McDouble D...although I have no idea where I'm going to get a giant cheeseburger mask..." Ed walked by dressed as a clown. "You deserve a break today!"

Eddy'd voice-over kept up the narration: "Yep, we could have really packed in the bucks with that one! But suddenly..." At that moment, Rolf ran in.

"Rolf has an announcement!" he called. "The stars of the tiny closet have made a judgement! They told Rolf that Kevin is now king of all this camp building!" Eddy was not pleased. "KING! I should be king!"

Rolf glared at Eddy, with a crazed look in his eyes. "KEVIN...IS...KING!" The kids nervously agreed.


	2. Banished

"And there it was!" Eddy narrated. "Soon, we were all shoved into one tiny room! We couldn't do scams in there! Worst of all, Kevin spent all that time alone with...Nazz. But we worked anyway. We needed that money for jawbreakers!"

It was a few days later. The Eds were still working hard, but set back by the lack of space they now had. While Ed and Eddy hammered away, Edd worked out various technical details. "Well, Eddy, I'm having my costume delivered to the front desk. I'm going to go pick it up, but are you sure you'll be safe in the room without me?"

"How old do you think I am?"

"Well, the Kankers are in the same room as us, so I just assumed...well, keep watch, alright?" Edd rushed off to pick up the costume. As Ed began to eat some sort of hamburger, Eddy sat down, scanning the room for the Kankers. That soon got boring, however.

"We lived in fear of those girls!" Eddy narratred. "May, Lee, and Marie Kanker would always chase us around and do...well, I won't go there. But maybe I should have paid more attention, 'cause it got boring standing guard in a few seconds."

A few minutes later, Eddy was still on guard, but he couldn't see the Kankers in the crowded room. Ed had somehow obtained a drum and was beating away. Eddy heard it and started feeling the rhythm. It was a typical song starting at the drop of a hat.

Eddy: **_"There's more to life than guarding_**

_**Yourself from some female nuts**_

_**I think should be starting**_

_**To show those sisters I have some guts**_

_**I'm gonna put hiding behind me**_

_**And no longer run for my life**_

_**And I'm gonna make sure that no Kanker**_

_**Ends up being my wife!**_

**_For once I'll be..._**"

At that second, the camp disappeared. No longer singing quietly to himself, Eddy jumped into a colorful fantasy world in what looked like a bad Trix commercial.

Eddy: **_"...lookin' out for me... yeah!_**

_**I'll tell you what I want**_

_**This kid is movin' on**_

_**He's a normal guy**_

_**Who's been deprived of fun**_

_**I'd be a bigger cheese**_

_**Far from the camping scene**_

_**A little cooling breeze**_

_**A little patch of green!**_

_**And I'll be slurping up jawbreakers by a rippling stream**_

_**With Ed and Double D with me, my only team**_

_**Looking after number one will be my only creed**_

_**That's all I need**_

_**That's all I need**_

_**I've always been good at runnin' away**_

_**Well, now I'm gonna run the show-ow**_

_**I've been chased by Kankers up until today**_

_**But now my status ain't so quo!"**_

Back in reality, Eddy and Ed were surrounded by the Kankers. Eddy was still singing, but loudly, unaware of his surroundings: **_"That dream of mine...It's Eddy fantasy TIME!"_**

The Kankers laughed as Eddy snapped out of it. "Oh, come on! Not now!" This made the Kankers laugh harder. "It's that special time of the day..." said Lee.

"RUN AWAY!" screamed the two Eds. They scrambled around the room, with the Kankers in tow. After trampling a few kids the chase ended up in the "forbidden" hallway. Kevin was lounging in there, about to eat a jawbreaker, when Eddy barreled through. Eddy accidently ate the jawbreaker himself. Ed and the Kankers trampled Kevin next. Kevin pushed a button and a huge cage dropped on them.

Eddy pulled on the bars. "Don't leave me in a cage with them! That's like murder!"

"Hey! Where'd this cage come from, anyway?" asked May.

"You dorks are BANISHED!" said Kevin, who didn't actually answer May's question. Eddy wasn't about to go down without a fight. "Banished! You can't banish me!"

"I can if I'm the king!"

Ed, Eddy, and the Kankers found themselves being thrown out of camp. With a call of "Dorks!" Kevin shut the door on them. Nazz was watching. "Kevin, did you just banish them?"

Thinking quickly, Kevin thought of a lie. "No, they left, 'cause they're moving."

"Ed and Eddy are moving? Why is Sarah still here?"

"Well...she's staying with Jimmy for now."

"Oh. That makes sense."

Outside, Ed and Eddy were pulled into the bushes by the Kankers and screams were heard. Edd walked by in a huge cheeseburger costume that looks like Mayor McCheese. He didn't notice the others and stumbled inside. "Oh dear...this huge head is so heavy..."

"Are you, like, okay, Double D?" asked Nazz.

"Yes, thank you. But where are Ed and Eddy?"

"Sorry, dude, I heard they moved."

"Moved? Without telling me?" A sad Edd walked away. Kevin watched him and thought to himself: "If I don't do something to keep him busy, he'll figure out Ed and Eddy aren't banished and he'll try to sneak them in or something..." He quickly called to Edd. "Hey, Double D! I'm making you the informer!"

"Really?"

"Yeah, you get to collect information and give everyone the, uh, 'morning report!'

And so, with his new job, Edd left his friends without realizing it.


	3. A New Home

Ed and Eddy found themselves dumped off after the Kankers were finished with them. While the Kankers decided to sneak back into the camp building and use their locker room as a secret base, Eddy knew better. Kevin was sure to find them there. But they still needed a place to hang out. But they were hit with balls at the bowling alley, were chased by ducks at the lagoon, and the condemned building that was destroyed with them inside didn't really work out. They both ended up on the tall building from "Calvin On Wheels."

"I am gargoyle Ed! Fear me! Roar!"

Eddy sighed and looked down at the view of the campus where their camp was. He could see it from here. "Give it up, Ed. We're not gonna be able to find a new place..." For no real reason, Linus swung up on his blanket. "LINUS? What are you doing here?"

"The question is what are YOU doing here?"

"We were banished by that stupid king Kevin."

"Well, Kevin does have power right now, which is indeed a bad thing. But you need a way of living. Happiness. And to get to happiness, there's one thing you're missing..."

"What?"

"Who used to always be around you, but is gone now?"

"Gargoyle" Ed thought about that for a second. "My lucky cheese? I'LL NEVER FORGET YOU, SHELDON!"

Linus sighed and swung away. "Think about it." Eddy finally got the idea. "Hey! He means Double D! We gotta go back to camp, Ed! We need that happiness! We need Double D!" Forgetting he was on a building, Eddy walked off and fell. Ed jumped down, flapping his arms like a bird. "This one's for you, Sheldon!"

Ed and Eddy snuck back to camp to find Edd. Eddy went into "secret agent mode" and acted very quiet. Ed started to do the same thing, but soon lost interest. "I AM A NUTCRACKER!" Kevin heard this and came out to see who was in his area. Suddenly, Eddy's narrating voice was heard: "We ran away, but Kevin was right behind us. Then I noticed a bathroom that was out of order. What kind of idiot would go in an out of order bathroom?" Eddy and Ed ran in. "Ouch."

Ed and Eddy looked around. "Wow...what a cool place!" said Ed. Eddy thought Ed was acting stupid, but he was right for a change. The bathroom actually looked pretty cool. An overflowing urinal, gross as that may be, gave the illusion of a waterfall.

"No worries here, huh?" asked Eddy.

"We are one step away from happiness!" agreed Ed.

Eddy's voice continued narrating: "It looked like we had it made. And we did!"


	4. No Worries

Soon, the two of them had made themselves at home. Eddy and Ed were playing scrabble. Ed had spelled out various gibberish words.

"Come on! That is NOT a word!" argued Eddy.

"Sure is, Mr. I wish-I-was-as-smarty-pants! It's the language of the Bor-Ach-Too-Nah's in 'The Robot Alien Super Jumble Christmas Special 2 Part 3!'"

"Fine! But what does that other one mean? 'Hakuna Matata?'"

"Uh..."

"That's not a real word! Unless...I could steal it! From now on, Hakuna Matata means what this paradise is! No worries!"

Eddy kept narrating: "The rest of the day was full of laziness and fun!"

The two Eds brought in some pillows and were soon bouncing around. "Let's sing a song!" said Ed.

Ed and Eddy:**_ "Hakuna Matata_**

_**What a wonderful phrase**_

_**Hakuna Matata**_

_**Ain't no passin' craze!"**_

"Hey, Ed!"

"What?"

"PILLOW ATTACK!" Eddy hit Ed with a pillow. Ed did the same thing, but three times harder, sending Eddy smashing into a wall. "Leave me alone, evil chief!" The Eds also took their new paradise outside, and happily climbed a tree. No one, after all, had claimed the outside of the camp.

Ed and Eddy: **_"It means no worries_**

**_For the_**---AAAAAAHHHH!"

They bungee jumped and landed painfully at the bottom of the tree, because the cord was too long. Without missing a beat, they sprung up and kept singing.

Ed and Eddy: **_"It means no worries_**

_**For the rest of your days**_

_**It's our problem-free**_

_**Philosophy**_

_**Hakuna Matata!"**_

(The tune switches to "Warthog Rhapsody")

Eddy: **_"We've got a paradise"_**

Ed: **_"We've got it all worked out"_**

Eddy: **_"An unlikely place"_**

Ed:**_ "We've got it all worked out"_**

Eddy:**_ "For a bathroom, it's nice"_**

Ed:**_ "We've got it all worked out"_**

Eddy:**_ "And no more Kanker chases"_**

Ed: **_"We've got it all worked out"_**

Eddy: **_"It's an amazing place that we came to stay_**

_**While we relax in the shade**_

_**Everyone stays away**_

_**Don't resist the lumpy philosophy**_

_**Take it from he..."**_

Ed: **_"Take it from me"_**

Eddy: **_"Take it from he"_**

Ed and Eddy: **_"We've got it all worked out"_**

Eddy: **_"So remember when you see us just sitting around_**

_**While your life stinks, look at the one we've found**_

_**Don't dismiss it as lumpy stupidity**_

_**Take it from he"**_

Ed: **_"Take it from me"_**

Eddy: **_"Take it from he"_**

Ed: **_"Take it from we"_**

Eddy: **_"That's all I need!_**...I mean..."

Ed and Eddy:**_ "We've got it all worked out!"

* * *

_**

"Warthog Rapsody" has the same tune as "That's All I Need," hence the joke at the end. 


	5. Double D

"The next morning," narrated Eddy, "we had some troubles...finding food." Eddy and Ed were out of their new hiding place/paradise and sneaking around, hoping Kevin wouldn't see them...actually, only Eddy was sneaking. Ed looked like he was doing a dance of some kind. They passed Linus, who was walking around, singing "A Weak Parody."

_**A weak parody**_

_**Is what I'm in**_

_**And it hurts much more**_

_**Than a kick in the shin...**_

"Who's HE singing too?" grumbled Eddy.

"Ed needs food, Eddy!" moaned Ed.

"Yeah, well, we need to find food!"

Linus, meanwhile, had just finished his song and noticed them. "The answer may be right above your nose." Eddy wasn't in the mood. "Look, fortune cookie, I don't understand what you're saying, and will you just get rid of that blanket?" Without blinking, Linus whipped the ceiling with his blanket, and a ceiling tile fell, making an opening that the boys could fit in. Even Eddy was impressed. "Wow. He's good."

Ed and Eddy jumped into the ceiling and started crawling around in the dark. They weren't really sure where they were going, but they would surely find something. Eventually, Eddy found another loose board and jumped through with Ed. By luck, they landed in the closet where the food was stored. It was also the closet that had the stupid "stars" that made Kevin the king in the first place. Eddy and Ed grabbed all the buttered toast, chunky puffs, and gravy that they could.

Eddy narrated: "That's right, you thought Bowser ate all the food. Well, he did, but we helped." As they were starting to climb back through the ceiling, they heard a voice singing...it was Double D! They peeked out of the closet to see Edd singing the morning report to Rolf and Calvin.

_**This is the morning report**_

_**Gives you the long and the short**_

_**Every game, event or sport**_

_**Not a tale I distort**_

_**In the morning report!**_

Ed was happy. "Double D!" Eddy, however... "Shut up, Ed! Look at him! He's not looking for us, he's not wondering where we are, does he even know we're missing! I think he's happy without us!"

"Happiness?"

"Yeah, he found happiness! Without us! And I say happiness is without him! Come on, Ed. Let's go..." A sad Ed and an angry Eddy climbed back up into the ceiling and crawled away. They had found food, but had lost a bit of spirit in their journey. But it was as Linus had said, "The answer may be right above your nose."


	6. Finding Calvin

"We didn't really do much else that day," narrated Eddy, "not like we wanted to. You wouldn't do much if you found out your best friend didn't want you! But, the next morning we took a little walk..." Ed and Eddy were walking along the road when it started rumbling. Not knowing why, they looked up to see a huge rush of traffic coming at them. They ran, trying to avoid the cars that suddenly surrounded them. However, they were soon separated in the huge mob of tires.

"Ed!"

"Eddy!"

Eddy dodged cars, trying to see Ed through all the dust. His friend was on the other side, figuring out what to do. Bravely, Ed climbed onto a car and jumped roof to roof, looking for Eddy. Eddy looked doomed, about to be run over but Ed grabbed him and pulled him onto the car. They started to ride along on top, not really knowing what to do next when Bowser jumped onto the roof.

"Bowser Koopa!" said Ed. "Cool."

"You two!" roared Bowser. "I would keep you as slaves, but somehow I don't think you'd do a very good job!" Bowser lunged at them, about to throw them onto the street like he would do to a certain tiger seconds later, but the two Eds jumped into one of the cars' open windows, this one being driven by Morton Koopa.

"Hey!" screeched the loudmouth Koopaling, "Get out of my car, you stupid, badly drawn, stinky, idiotic, moron, con artists!"

"Well, YOU'RE a loudmouthed, scaley, ugly, evil, screw-up!" challenged Eddy, whose mouth was just as big.

"I am Ed!" added Ed. Suddenly, Hobbes was thrown against the window.

"Hobbes?"

"No, that's one of those stupid 'Garfield' suction cup things," said Eddy. They watched Hobbes's body sink into the traffic and get swallowed by the dust.

"Get outta my car!" yelled Morton, opening the door. Hobbes suddenly sprang in, trying to survive. He was too weak to notice the Eds. Eddy kicked Hobbes out. "I never liked Garfield." Morton growled and ordered them out of his car again.

"Like we're gonna jump into THAT?" asked Eddy, motioning to the traffic. Morton roared again and finally kicked the two boys out, landing them safely on the sidewalk. The car mob eventually ended, as the Eds watched the last car disappear down the road. They didn't notice Hobbes limping back to camp, nor Bowser taunting Calvin, thinking Hobbes was dead.

"Stupid Koopas!" called Eddy. "We'll get even with you someday!"

"Let's do it again!" Ed cried, happily.

Eddy's narration returned: "After taking a walk, we came back to camp. And there, in a tree, there was a kid! It was Calvin! Pretty soon, we were all sharing paradise in our bathroom! We were all friends in there! Even though it was less than an hour, it seemed like we were hanging out there for years!" The guys were all in the bathroom. Calvin was looking at it with the same wonder Eddy had when they had first arrived.

Calvin: **_It means no worries for the rest of your days!_**

All Three: **_It's our problem-free philosophy_**

_**Hakuna Matata**_

_**Hakuna Matata**_

_**Haknuna Matata**_

**_Hakuna Matata_**...etc.

"It really seemed like Double D never left!" narrated Eddy. "But later that day, someone else showed up..."


	7. In Short Our Pall Is Doomed

A little later, Eddy and Calvin were sitting in the bathroom, both eating Chunky Puffs. "...and that's why they're called 'Chunky Puffs,'" Eddy was saying.

"Eww," said a disgusted Calvin, "You don't say. And yet, still so tasty! But it never beats the 'Choco Frosted Sugar Bombs!'"

"Problem here, is we've got no one to scam!" complained Calvin.

"I've got a salmon," said Ed.

"Well, go scam the salmon OUT THERE!"

"Hey! Don't be mean to Angus!"

"Come on, Ed! He's stinkin' up the place!"

Calvin looked annoyed. This was a fun place, but Ed and Eddy's arguments got pretty annoying. He also couldn't shake the memory of Hobbes away. After all, Hobbes "died" about two hours ago. Ed, meanwhile, went out to sulk. Eddy ran outside, too. "Ed, don't be like that!" Mad, Ed turned away. Eddy sighed.

"Fine, fine...but you know you can't resist this song...

_**In the jungle**_

_**The mighty jungle**_

_**The lion sleeps tonight**_

_**In the jungle**_

**_The quiet jungle_**...Ed?"

Ed had wandered off. Eddy went back in the bathroom. Ed better not have wandered into Kevin's territory! They'd be in big trouble! Little did Eddy know, the Kankers, working for Bowser, had taken over Kevin's "kingdom."

"Where's Ed?" asked Calvin.

"Eh, the lump wandered off. Hope he doesn't hurt anyone like the LAST time he got lose." Both of them suddenly heard Ed screaming outside.

"That is MY fish! Give it back, oh infernal beast! I'll save you, Angus!" Calvin and Eddy ran out to find Hobbes and Ed arguing over the fish.

"Ed? What's going on? Hobbes?" Hobbes looked up. "Calvin?" A shocked Eddy watched as Calvin and Hobbes rolled around, laughing happily. As they talked together, Eddy got madder and madder. Now Calvin would go off with Hobbes, because knowing that tiger, he'd convince Calvin to go back where everyone else was! Hobbes and Calvin ran outside to play.

Ed was happy, bacause he had Angus back. But Eddy just sat and watched Calvin and Hobbes run around. "Look at them! Together! First we lose Double D, and now Calvin! There goes another friend! **_I can see what's happening_**."

"What?"

_**And they don't have a clue.**_

"Who?"

_**He'll leave with Hobbes and here's the bottom line**_

_**Our trio's down to two.**_

"Oh."

"_**It's a magical world"**_

"_**There's treasure everywhere"**_

_**And with all those famous one-liners**_

_**There's no room for us in there!**_

"What do we do?" asked Ed.

"We make sure Calvin doesn't leave today, that's what we do!" Eddy and Ed snuck outside to see Calvin and Hobbes riding in a wagon as unseen chorus sang:

_**Oh, will Calvin leave today?**_

_**Him and his very best friend**_

_**The world, for once, in perfect harmony**_

_**They hope it never ends!**_

"Eddy!" screamed Ed, "The voices are in my head again! Make them go away, Eddy! Make them go away!"

"No, Ed! Look at them in their wagon! If I steer them the wrong way..." Eddy gave the wagon a push and Calvin and Hobbes went over a cliff.

"Wow!" said Hobbes at the painful bottom.

"Just like old times!" said Calvin. Eddy hid behind a tree. "D'oh! Time for plan two!"

"Can I play the piano?"

Ignoring Ed, Eddy put a tuna on a string and lured Hobbes away. Eddy then set up a huge snare trap, and Hobbes got caught in it. Calvin ran over.

"Hey! This is like when we first met!"

"Yeah!"

Eddy couldn't take that. "WHAT!"

"At least I got the tuna," said Ed. Eddy walked back inside, mad as ever. "This is hopeless, Ed...Calvin's happy, Hobbes is happy...and they're together again, and...and...**_And if he leaves with Hobbes today_**

**_It can be assumed_**..."

Ed: **_His carefree days with us are history_**...

Both: **_In short, our pal is doomed._**

The two of them burst into tears as they walked away, leaving Calvin and Hobbes alone together.


	8. Goodby Calvin

Eddy and Ed were sadly walking back to their bathroom when they head Calvin and Hobbes arguing.

"All I know is I'm staying here, and you should, too," said Calvin.

"I thought you'd do the right thing this time," said a sad Hobbes. "But I was wrong."

"Hey! Come back! You...you said that you'd always be there for me!"

"I said that...but I thought YOU'D be there for me, too." Normally, this would be sad for anyone. But Eddy was delighted. "Hey, Ed? Here that?"

"They remind me of the shows my mom watches, Eddy."

"We won! Calvin is staying with us!"

"Calvin doesn't look happy..."

"He will be, when we throw the 'Calvin's Staying' party!"

"Can I jump naked out of a cake?"

With Eddy's call of "To the party store!" they both ran off as Eddy's narration returned: "So we got hats, and balloons, and all this other stuff. But when we got back..." Ed and Eddy returned to find a loud triumphant African tune playing as Calvin, Hobbes, Rolf, Jason, Marcus, and Linus were running back to the main room.

"Where are you guys going?" asked Eddy.

"We're off to save the kingdom from the Kankers!" said Calvin. Ed hid inside the bathroom. "Kankers!"

Eddy stubbornly stayed put. "Count me out! Besides, I hate Kevin! Why would I want to save his kingdom?"

Linus walked over and began a metaphorical speech: "True, things can be bad, and we may..."

"Give the speech later!" called Marcus, "We've got a kingdom to save!"

With that, they all ran away, leaving Eddy and Ed. The African tune faded, also going with the boys. The Eds, however, were left alone in the dark hallway on that cloudy day...all was quiet.

"Should we help them?" asked Ed.

"No way! He's deserting our happiness! And we sounded fine when it was just the TWO of us singing "Hakuna Matata!" I say, we let him go off and get killed!"

"Killed?"

"Well, hurt, at least. I say, we go back there and have some more Chunky Puffs. Hey, do you know why they're called Chunky Puffs? Funny story, see..."

Eddy keept talking, but his words went right past Ed, for he was paying more attention to the ghostly figure of Angus the fish appearing to him.

"Ed, you must go save your friend Calvin!" said Angus. "He and the others are in trouble, and they need YOU!"

"Eddy, I have to go! Angus told me!"

"What? I thought I got rid of that guy! Ed? Ed, come back!" But Ed had already left. Eddy growled as the lovable oaf disappeared down a corridor after the others. "Fine! I'm happy here in paradise!" Eddy sat down and sang a weak version of "Hakuna Matata."

_**Hakuna Matata...**_

_**what a doo-dah-doo-doo...**_

_**Hakuna...Matata...**_

_**ain't a something doo...**_

Linus came back. Stopping his song (if you could really call it that), Eddy jumped up. "Well, if it isn't Mr. Happiness! I know what you're gonna say! 'Are you happy?' And I'll say, 'Yes I am! Life is perfect!' And you'll say, 'Look what happened. You're living out your life in a men's bathroom.' And I'll look around and suddenly the bathroom won't look so nice! And then I'll realize I need Ed and Double D to be happy, and I should have actually TALKED to Double D, instead of jumping to conclusions! Now I'm gonna have to catch up with Ed and save the day! RIGHT! I knew it! Outta the way, security blanket boy!" Eddy ran after Ed. Linus sat in silence, watching Eddy return to his best friends.

"He may be able to talk fast, but boy, does he have an annoying voice."

* * *

For no reason on Saturday, CN aired a NEW episode of our favorite Eds! It was Cleanliness Is Next to Ed, all about poor Edd trying to get a shower when his bathroom was being renovated. It was a lot better than the new Sponegbobs Nickelodeon's been showing. 


	9. Through the Mushroom Kingdom

Meanwhile, Ed was running to the main room. Even though it was literary a few feet from his bathroom, Ed wasn't anywhere near it. Have you ever SEEN how that guy runs! Eddy easily caught up.

"Eddy?"

"I'm not letting you and Double D take the Kankers alone. If you're gonna run screaming from them, I will too!" Ed hugged Eddy, nearly strangling him. Running much faster, they arrived at the entrance to the main room.

"Alright, villains!" Eddy called in, "Come out and fight!" They were promptly trampled by Johnny being chased by the Koopas. ("PENNY, PENNY! I SEE A PENNY!") Eddy groaned and got up. "Koopas? I knew it!" The other kids ran out, including Calvin and Edd, and Ed and Eddy were trampled again. Edd didn't even notice them. Ed and Eddy got up and ran after them to the football stadium, where the fight was taking place.

Calvin noticed them when they arrived. "You guys came!" he cried as he knocked a Koopa henchman called Lakitu off his cloud.

"Let's face it..."said Eddy, "to have true happiness, we need one more person." Calvin was touched. "Well, Eddy, I'll always be right---"

"I WAS TALKING ABOUT DOUBLE D!"

"He's over there," grumbled Calvin, pointing to Edd, who was surrounded by several of the Koopalings, all with their wands. Ed and Eddy surprised them from behind and knocked them away. Edd was surprised. "Eddy? Kevin said you moved!"

"Kevin says a lot of things! Now, are you gonna sit there and let yourself be killed by a Koopa or what?"

"It's good to see you again, too, Eddy."

"And I can sing!" said Ed. But the reunion was cut short as the Kankers jumped out. "Ah, yes. I knew we were missing someone," said Edd. In typical fashion, the three Eds ran and hid behind a column. It was there where they saw Kevin about to be killed by Wendy Koopa. Ed kicked her into her shell and threw it into the distance. It ended up hitting Roy Koopa, who was about to pound Charlie Brown. Kevin was amazed. "You dorks saved me..."

Eddy wasn't happy, of course. "And even after that, you just said we were dorks? Forget you, Kevin!"

"Even if we are dorks, we're dorks who stick together!" said Edd.

"A pair of peaches are we!" Triumphant, they walked away. Of course, the Kankers resumed chasing them in one second. "I knew we forgot something!" moaned Edd. "Well, some things never change."

"They're about to change!" smiled Eddy. "Before we banished, I brought THIS along!" Eddy happily held up one of the Mario books. "It ends here!" The Eds jumped into the book, followed by the Kankers. Edd wasn't much happier as they fell through the sky. "Eddy, we've increased our change of dying by coming in here!"

"We did not! All the Koopas are out there!" They landed on the ground. A ton of other enemies jumped out. Edd rolled his eyes. "Well, that still doesn't count Nijis, Shyguys, Nippers, Cheep-Cheeps..." The Eds screamed and kept on running. The Kankers followed. The enemies started throwing fireballs and other weapons at them. While the Eds got hit with every shot, the Kankers avoided it all. "How do they DO that?" gasped Eddy.

"My name is Ed!"

They reached a fortress and ran inside. Edd looked alarmed as they barely made it across huge jumps with lava and Podabos splashing underneath them. "Oh no! Not a fortress! From the looks of things in here, I'd say it was from 1985's 'Super Mario Brothers.' This was the first game to have the characters Toad, Princess Toadstool, and Bowser. The actual Koopa Troopas were in a previous game, but called Shellcreepers. The Goombas, on the other hand..."

"Shut up!" screamed Eddy. "We're about to die!" Ed held up an item he had just found. "I have a mushroom!" Edd looked hopeful. "A mushroom? A Super Mushroom? I have an idea..."

The Kankers were right behind them. The Eds jumped onto a bridge and cut it with an axe. The bridge broke, and the Kankers fell towards the lava below. Even though they were their worst enemies, Edd felt shocked. "Oh my."

Suddenly, the Kankers came out, riding a Blaarg. "Blaarg? But he didn't appear until..."

Eddy grabbed his friends and kept running. "Forget the lava thing! There's a warp pipe!" They jumped in, followed by the Kankers. When they emerged, they were in Sky Land, in an area made of moving platforms.

"How are we gonna get across THIS one?" asked Eddy. Ed used his jacket as a parachute and flew them across the moving platforms. It seemed to be working...until they fell. "Ran out of gas," reported Ed.

A Blue Paratroopa caught them and flew away. The Kankers chased them, but ended up jumping onto a faraway platform and were unable to jump back. They were trapped! Something actually went right for the Eds! They cheered as the Paratroopa flew them into a warp pipe.

They were now in the real world, and flew up to Calvin, who was fighting Bowser. They tossed him the Super Mushroom and watched him grow to full size and defeat the Koopa king.

"We did it!" cheered Eddy!

"Together," added Edd.

The Paratroopa calmly flew back into the book, as the Koopas were tossed in, too. Ed summed up the entire adventure. "Hakuna Matata!"

* * *

Yes, I had the whole Paratroopa thing planned from the start when I wrote the original "Calvin King."


	10. Normal At Last

"Anyway," narrated Eddy, "there was that whole finale thing with us using the party favors, and the 'no more kings,' you know the rest." It was a few days later. Eddy just finished telling his story to Jason and Marcus.

"You found paradise...in the bathroom," said Marcus. "That's just stupid."

"I liked Calvin's adventures better, though I was wondering about the Paratroopa," said Jason.

"Yeah, what was up with him?" asked Marcus.

"Eh, no one likes my stories! SCRAM!" Eddy watched as Jason and Marcus stomped away.

Calvin walked by. "After going through all that trouble and not becoming king, all I learned from this adventure is that I should never do anything that benefits anyone besides me!"

"Oh, leave them alone, Eddy," said Edd. "We have to get back to work!"

"Yeah, yeah..." The Eds got back to work on their scam they had started a while ago...

Eds: **_Make a scamma_**

_**Make, make a scamma**_

_**We've gone back to making our scammas**_

_**Make a scamma**_

_**Make, make a scamma**_

_**Never more the Kankers come!**_

Edd: **_We're back to ripping off everyone_**

_**I'll admit scams can be fun!**_

Eddy: **_Back to singing our working song_**

_**We had happiness all along!**_

Calvin: **_Without them, I'd never have saved the day_**

Ed: **_I'm gonna eat a fish fillet!_**

Edd: **_Eddy, could you help me with this pump?_**

Ed: **_Proved it was cool to hang out with lumps!_**

Eds: **_No more Kankers, and we're happy to be_**

_**The best friends, Ed, Edd, 'n Eddy!**_

As the Eds sang, the Kankers watched them from one of their many secret hiding places. "They DO know we escaped, right?" asked Marie.

"Should we get them?" suggested May.

"We'll be nice and wait until after they finish building their scam and THEN wreck it," said Lee.

"They better appreciate that," grumbled Marie.

THE END


End file.
